How to get over an ex

How long is it since you broke up with your ex?  If it’s a very recent breakup and you are feeling devastated then you need to be kind to yourself and allow the natural process of loss to happen. While you are trying to figure out how to get over an ex remember that no matter how tough you think are; there’s going to be a grieving period when you will probably have a lot more down times than up times at least for a while. The problem really begins when you get depressed, stuck in a rut and stay there.

In the beginning it’s also likely that you will be questioning yourself and the events that led up to the breakup. Who was to blame and so many what if I had done or said that, or your ex had done or said this differently, you can drive yourself crazy if you keep this up and in the end it doesn’t change anything. What you want is to heal your  broken heart

One of the first important things when you want to know how to get you over an ex is the coming to terms with the truth. The facts are the facts; you have split up for a reason.  Whether yours was a short term, first relationship or a long term marriage, the truth is it hurts and you want to feel better as soon as possible, or do you? Be totally honest and ask yourself is this is really true, do I really want to know how to get over my ex feel better and move on with my life; or is there something that I’m getting out of this misery that’s holding me here longer than I need to be. Sometimes we do things on an unconscious level and would probably jump down someone’s throat for even suggesting such a thing.

A lot of people get more support from friends and family when they are going through a break up, they have an excuse for being crabby and miserable and not wanting to be bothered with anything, for not taking care of themselves or others. They can be self indulgent and eat and drink whatever they like to try to make themselves feel better. I’m not saying that this is the case for you but it happens more than you might imagine. Their misery helps them get other needs met and they are in no rush to give that up.

You may have broken off the relationship yourself so you could be feeling guilt and concern about your ex. You may have been in some way responsible for the breakup of the relationship but not actually wanted the relationship to end. The relationship may just have run its course and both parties share equal responsibility for what has happened.  You may even know deep down that this breakup is for the best and maybe have been expecting or even wanting it to happen, though you would never admit to that. Whatever the reason coming out of a relationship can leave you feeling that you need to heal your broken heart . The loss of a relationship leaves a gaping hole in your life – now you have to fill that hole with other positive things, not alcohol or other destructive options.

Sometimes you have to fake it until you make it so…

Here’s what you could do if you want to get over an ex

• Go out with friends even if you don’t feel like going and do your best to have a good time (this doesn’t mean having too much to drink and making yourself feel worse) do an activity together whether it’s dancing, kayaking, hiking something that will get you out and physically involved in something.
• Do not punish yourself by imagining what your ex is doing now that they are not with you, because that’s all it is your imagination running wild. it’s a waste of energy and time.
• Do not think about stalking your ex by constantly contacting him or her or accidentally on purpose planning to run into them or hanging out near their home or place of work.
• Take the focus off you and help someone that is worse off than you. While you are working to get over your ex explore other opportunities, become a volunteer, be a big brother or sister to a young person.  You could make a huge and positive impact in someone else’s life.
• Keep yourself busy don’t sit home listening to nostalgic music or watching sad movies. The idea is to lift your spirits and change your mood not take you deeper into despair. Watch movies that will make you laugh.
• Put the past behind you, look forward to the future.  Create a picture of what you want your future to look like and start thinking of ways that you can begin to make that a reality. What do you want? Create a vision board especially helpful if you are a visual person and add pictures of all the things you want your life to be about.
• Another way to help you get over an ex is to forgive yourself and your ex for what has happened regardless of who was at fault. If you don’t do this you are hanging onto negative energy and old baggage and the only one you’ll be punishing is yourself.  You are the only one that can stop you from moving on with your life.
• Get out and meet new people. Join groups, take a class anywhere where there are new people to connect with. You may make a great new friend or even find your next romance.
• Live in the moment. When you are doing something or with someone really be present keep your mind on that moment and don’t let it go wandering off to the past.
• Taking good care of yourself is a given. Adequate sleep, healthy eating, exercise and spoiling yourself a bit or even a lot is a good way to help you feel better about yourself and life in general.

If you are coming out of a bitter divorce with a lot of anger and resentment you may not think that it’s possible now, but the time may come when you and your ex may even become friends again.  If you don’t know it now you will eventually realize that what happened was for the best.

Use these secrets on how to get over an ex and discover how to heal a broken heart then you will soon be creating your new and better future.  Before you know it you will know that if there is no hope of reconciliation that you will have got over your ex.